Exhausting, so much planning, preparation, events, work & shopping, yet it all seems worth it for that one moment where the entire family comes together and we have a moment of love and unity…

How is that achieved? There are split seconds where I feel inner peace and it’s usually when I have checked in with my kids and they are doing good, work is good, my husband is good, my mom, sister and niece are good – bills are paid and house is clean. Wow writing this out I guess my inner peace is when my responsibilities are all met and doing ok….

I cried like a baby today….I received a call from my son this morning who is in town to visit us before Thanksgiving…He’s spending Thanksgiving with his girlfriends family this year…The call started off normal where he said hey mom how are you and I responded normally but then he said mom don’t be weird which I wasn’t being… I now realize he was nervous… He said I want to ask you something mom and I said of course what is it? He then said, when he in town again for Christmas would I help him shop for a ring? I immediately started crying, it just hit me so hard I was so very happy to hear that from him..my son is thinking of getting engaged and married…My beautiful son made me so happy today…

I believe that hard work pays off, hustle, long hours, relationships, innovation, fearless work ethic makes or brakes your career…I am ready for change I am not challenged in any way…

Stressed….I have so many plans to prepare for, early family Thanksgiving dinner this coming Saturday since we aren’t all together for Thanksgiving….Sunday I am cooking lunch for the family, love that…Tuesday plans with mom, Wednesday carpet getting installed at home, Thursday, Thanksgiving……If I survive the next 11 days I’ll be a happy girl….lol

The single most important part of my life are my two kids…I think about them all day, I wonder what they are up to, I wonder if they know how much I love them and how I’m thinking about them all day… to some I’m an obsessive mom… to me it’s just who I am…I am a mom first and foremost…I am very cognizant not to be overbearing, although I fail sometimes…My son and my daughter are my purpose in life….

Having heart is beautiful….fearless in pursuing your dreams against all the negativity and also the self-doubt…we have one life to live… never conform… for what… for who…just be happy…

Exhausting…..I am not good at this at all, being a wife is the hardest part of my balance… even harder than maintaining my weight… because it’s so frustrating I just want to cut it out of my life completely… I am in love with love – the relationship maintenance part is for shit…

Ok…today is one of those days where I am disciplining myself because I can’t seem to stay on program…weight loss program…I love the way I look when I lose the weight but for some reason that doesn’t translate back to my brain to control the way I eat….so today I will try anything and everything to have a good day…I will report back tomorrow…. So much for balance this is definitely a ball I dropped.

marriage, parenting, work, finances, power struggles, family, duties, friendships, image, chores…. I drop the ball on something always and continue to try again….I haven’t accepted the fact that I can’t do it all…